So I realized after two too many negative, whiny, complaining posts, it was time to change my attitude. We can only go around feeling sorry for ourselves for so long, right? Yes I get tired. Yes I get stressed. And yes, I question my choices at times. Me & every other person in the world!! Especially us moms, right? But I can never question my choice to be happy!! Not just happy, but joyful in ANY situation! :) And I have sooo much to be happy AND joyful about! I have these bright, wonderful, funny little people in my life that I get to be with every single day. And an amazing man I get to walk beside as my partner. My kids are growing & changing every day and along with that, comes a few growing pains. But we will take the good with the bad :)
Roman is now enrolled in Butterfield, which is a Charter High School that works on independent studies. He does such a great job of staying on top of his work load and then helping out at home. He seems happier, more relaxed and has time for some extra curricular activities, such as the Explorers program. He worked all of last weekend at the county fair directing traffic and parking cars. And of course, he acted like a total goofball, dancing and shaking his booty the entire time, I'm sure! He is such a good kid and I am so proud of him. I'm excited that he has the potential to graduate from Butterfield by the time he's done with his junior year, which would make him only 16! Aaagghh!! And along with that, means that he can start college sooner. He can take classes at PC as early as he would like, but since I spend so much time running kids around, he has to wait until he has his drivers license.
Katie is finally buckling down with her studies and coming out of her shell a bit more with our homeschool group. She really enjoys learning when it is FUN for her, which challenges me to make it fun :) An upcoming field trip to Save Mart & Staffords chocolates ought to help out with that! And fun science experiments seem to get her attention. Thank the Lord for the internet, because I am NOT a science experiment kind of person. And the one I thought sounded fun, concerning helium balloons, was NOT fun for her! She agreed to do the experiment, but it resulted in tears because apparently, she had a very serious attachment to the balloon, that I wasn't aware of at the time. Oops!! She is making huge progress in her power chair. That has changed her life!! She is so independent, she has freedom, she explores and it makes her so happy!! It makes her a little sassy too, but that's just one of those little growing pains I mentioned earlier. She now has her communication device and I kind of have that up & running. It's beneficial during school time, but she doesn't use it for functionality quite as much as I would like her too. Once the rep comes out and gets it set up & mounted to her chair, then hopefully she'll start using it more frequently. So many BIG changes in such a little life! But she's adjusting really well & learning to go with the flow. Which she's never liked! If there was ever a child that likes structure & routine, it would be sweet Katie! She has always had a great dislike for change!
Paisley is going to be a quick learner & even though she has a hard time keeping her attention on one thing, she is getting to where she can do it when she is absolutely forced to. She wrote lower case a's the other day. She recognizes words when she sees them & you can just see the wheels turning in that pretty little head. She learned how to swing by herself today, which means a lot less cries for mommy. She is eager to please and has a mind of her own. The words that come out of her mouth sometimes are straight from my mouth to her ears! She is a little mini me and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that yet!! I'm so proud of her & she loves getting herself patted on the back :)
I am just loving these kids that God put in my life and I thank Him everyday that they are such good kids! They keep me busy & they definitely keep me on my toes, but they are proof that God wanted to give me the desires of my heart:) Isn't it funny how He seems to know what He is doing? Even when we don't realize it? I continue to be amazed at His AMAZING love! I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm NOT doing everything wrong! My kids are good kids. They are being raised right and they are being raised to love God. Katie possibly wants to get baptized, which is just wonderful! I am looking forward to Bryan being off on a Sunday so that we can move forward with that, but in the meantime, I truly know that she loves God and that is what is important for her salvation. So I leave you with this: Proverbs 22:6-Start children off on the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it. This is my goal. This is why I do what I do everyday. And that promise is what keeps me going. :)
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Challenges
Some days, I just want to throw in the towel. I want to quit home schooling, I want to quit being a stay at home mom and I even want to quit being a wife. I just want to sleep in all day & not feel like I'm constantly yelling at everyone or constantly being rushed everywhere I go. My frustration level with trying to get everything done is through the roof. Katie is such an amazing child and such an inspiration to everyone who knows her, but she can be such a challenge at times! She is absolutely the most stubborn child I have ever met. So many kids with special needs have behavior problems as well as their physical limitations and, from some of the things I've seen, those behaviors are there because they are allowed to be. In my experiences with Katie, I find that most people will let her get away with ANYTHING! There are very few people in her life that will push her, challenge her, and make her do things whether she wants to or not. Myself being one of them, one of her old speech therapists, her physical therapists, her occupational therapists and a few of her teachers. That's about it. Not even her dad! No matter the circumstance, no matter her behavior, no matter what she is supposed to be doing, only a handful of people hold her accountable for her actions. Is that real life? Absolutely not. She can't continue to live in a little bubble forever. As ideal as that would be, it's not fair to her, it's not fair to her siblings and it's not fair to those of us who are willing to push her. Somehow, I always end up looking like the bad guy, which, as a mom, I'm used to, but that doesn't make it any more fun.
I have had such a challenge engaging Katie's mind since school started. Apparently, our summer was so much fun that she just wants it to continue! (Yay for fun summers!!) Every single day of school so far, she has had a crying fit, she has refused to do one thing or another & she has been completely distracted by Paisley. And I end up losing my temper or spending half the day figuring out a new way to teach her that will get her focused. Things that she used to know so well seem completely lost to her now, so review is turning into what I'm seeing as a backslide. And it's things that she HAS to know before she can learn something new. I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm failing as her mom and as her teacher. I KNOW she's capable & I know she wants to, but she has so much fear about being "wrong" that she's afraid to put herself out there. She thinks that if she puts minimal effort into something that someone will bail her out. Even with spelling words, she won't just try to spell the word. She looks for confirmation that she's correct before proceeding. Last night at church, she wouldn't answer any questions she was being asked without looking to me for confirmation. Some days it's worse than others and today was one of the worse ones. I often wonder if this is as far as she's going to go. If her mind is just going to stop developing or if she's just being stubborn. I don't have the answers, but I don't think this is it. At these times, I need to remind myself of how the past year went. How crazy it was and how much Katie has been through. I don't want her going back to public school being so behind and I don't want learning at home to be so stressful. I finally have things working out at home with Roman having started his independent studies school, with a plan to be graduating by the time he's done with his junior year. Plus, he's at home to help me out with the girls. I am hoping that Katie will be more cooperative having Roman at home doing his schoolwork too, but so far, it's been about the same.
Maybe I wouldn't feel like such a failure if I felt like I had any control at all. But even Paisley insists on ALWAYS being the center of attention. Good attention or bad attention, it doesn't matter to her. When I am finally able to get Katie doing something, along comes Paisley and blows it out of the water. It is a battle I feel like my 3-year old is winning!! I've considered sending her to grandmas during the day, just so Katie & I can stay focused, but then I realize that's not the answer. As ideal as it sounds, that isn't teaching Paisley anything. Having three kids is certainly a challenge. They all need to learn to behave. They all need to learn in general. There's rules and consequences in all things & even children as young as Paisley need to learn to practice self-control. From Paisley, all the way to Roman, they all need to learn. Some days I feel like I'm not teaching anybody anything, but I need to remember that I am. Always! Even when it's things I don't want them to learn, their eyes are ALWAYS watching. It's my responsibility to teach them LIFE! How to live and walk with God. When I lose my temper with them or am being rushed or have no patience, they see real life come through, but they're not seeing grace during those ugly life moments.
The other day, I was soooo overwhelmed with emotion, with stress, with being rushed, just with the busy life we've created. I was compelled to just stop, breathe & PRAY! I asked God to give me the strength I needed to get through the moment, to help me keep my composure while trying to search for everything before I could walk out the door, to give me the patience that I needed in that moment to be a good mom and to thank Him for my kids that were driving me crazy at that very moment. And you know what? I was gracefully given everything I needed. God didn't get angry with me, He didn't withhold His grace, He didn't yell at me for being impatient. He just gave me the peace I needed. I realized it immediately & realized that I needed to ask Him for help way more often. When I do that, I become the person He wants me to be and I am a person that I like! But alas, I usually find myself turning to God as a last resort instead of trusting Him to handle it to begin with. (Shame on me, I know, but I'm just keeping it real!)
As I sit and ponder, which I do often, I think about what we can eliminate to make our lives easier. I feel like I rush around way more than I should, but I don't even know what is available to cast away. Between doctors appointments, therapy appointments, school schedules, and church activities, there's not much time left for anything else. By the time the weekend hits, I don't usually want to do ANYTHING. Add to that, dance classes (which aren't necessary, but the girls LOVE it), other family obligations, such as birthday parties and Bryan on a sometimes crazy work schedule, I need a little downtime. So when it comes to friends or family wanting to make plans or get together, please forgive me when I often say no or cancel plans. At this stage in my life, I am completely worn out and struggling to keep it all in balance. And although I love my husband dearly and I appreciate him so much for giving me the life we have and enabling me to stay home with the kids, I wish he could be here more often. Since we've been home from vacation, he's only had a few days off. And he works 12 hour shifts, which is usually more like 13-14 hours. Some days, some nights. Nights result in him sleeping during the day and days result in him going to bed super early.So I end up doing so much of this, if not all of it, by myself. The house suffers. It's NEVER "clean" anymore and by most peoples standards, it's downright messy most of the time. I don't think I've been caught up on laundry since we've been home & I already feel overwhelmed with the school year and it just started! Maybe homeschooling isn't the solution in some minds, but I really feel like it is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like it's what is best for the kids, even if that's just at this time. And maybe we haven't been learning in the "traditional" sense, but we've been learning a lot about life over the last few weeks. We've been learning about God, which is the most important. We've been learning about technology, with Katie's communication device. And Katie has even been learning how to use my laptop for some of the online apps for school. And we've been given some time to be a family that we didn't have before. So overall, this opportunity has definitely been a blessing. And sometimes, writing it down helps ME to see it as such! So bring on the challenges. Bring on the hard work & more than that, bring on the desire to learn & the desire to teach. I am ready for tomorrow ;) I'm sure I'll complain again & again & again before it's all said & done, but just remember that I'm always a work in progress. I love my husband & my kids more than anything and I will do my best to love & cherish them the way they deserve. And I will never stop pushing them and challenging them.
I have had such a challenge engaging Katie's mind since school started. Apparently, our summer was so much fun that she just wants it to continue! (Yay for fun summers!!) Every single day of school so far, she has had a crying fit, she has refused to do one thing or another & she has been completely distracted by Paisley. And I end up losing my temper or spending half the day figuring out a new way to teach her that will get her focused. Things that she used to know so well seem completely lost to her now, so review is turning into what I'm seeing as a backslide. And it's things that she HAS to know before she can learn something new. I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm failing as her mom and as her teacher. I KNOW she's capable & I know she wants to, but she has so much fear about being "wrong" that she's afraid to put herself out there. She thinks that if she puts minimal effort into something that someone will bail her out. Even with spelling words, she won't just try to spell the word. She looks for confirmation that she's correct before proceeding. Last night at church, she wouldn't answer any questions she was being asked without looking to me for confirmation. Some days it's worse than others and today was one of the worse ones. I often wonder if this is as far as she's going to go. If her mind is just going to stop developing or if she's just being stubborn. I don't have the answers, but I don't think this is it. At these times, I need to remind myself of how the past year went. How crazy it was and how much Katie has been through. I don't want her going back to public school being so behind and I don't want learning at home to be so stressful. I finally have things working out at home with Roman having started his independent studies school, with a plan to be graduating by the time he's done with his junior year. Plus, he's at home to help me out with the girls. I am hoping that Katie will be more cooperative having Roman at home doing his schoolwork too, but so far, it's been about the same.
Maybe I wouldn't feel like such a failure if I felt like I had any control at all. But even Paisley insists on ALWAYS being the center of attention. Good attention or bad attention, it doesn't matter to her. When I am finally able to get Katie doing something, along comes Paisley and blows it out of the water. It is a battle I feel like my 3-year old is winning!! I've considered sending her to grandmas during the day, just so Katie & I can stay focused, but then I realize that's not the answer. As ideal as it sounds, that isn't teaching Paisley anything. Having three kids is certainly a challenge. They all need to learn to behave. They all need to learn in general. There's rules and consequences in all things & even children as young as Paisley need to learn to practice self-control. From Paisley, all the way to Roman, they all need to learn. Some days I feel like I'm not teaching anybody anything, but I need to remember that I am. Always! Even when it's things I don't want them to learn, their eyes are ALWAYS watching. It's my responsibility to teach them LIFE! How to live and walk with God. When I lose my temper with them or am being rushed or have no patience, they see real life come through, but they're not seeing grace during those ugly life moments.
The other day, I was soooo overwhelmed with emotion, with stress, with being rushed, just with the busy life we've created. I was compelled to just stop, breathe & PRAY! I asked God to give me the strength I needed to get through the moment, to help me keep my composure while trying to search for everything before I could walk out the door, to give me the patience that I needed in that moment to be a good mom and to thank Him for my kids that were driving me crazy at that very moment. And you know what? I was gracefully given everything I needed. God didn't get angry with me, He didn't withhold His grace, He didn't yell at me for being impatient. He just gave me the peace I needed. I realized it immediately & realized that I needed to ask Him for help way more often. When I do that, I become the person He wants me to be and I am a person that I like! But alas, I usually find myself turning to God as a last resort instead of trusting Him to handle it to begin with. (Shame on me, I know, but I'm just keeping it real!)
As I sit and ponder, which I do often, I think about what we can eliminate to make our lives easier. I feel like I rush around way more than I should, but I don't even know what is available to cast away. Between doctors appointments, therapy appointments, school schedules, and church activities, there's not much time left for anything else. By the time the weekend hits, I don't usually want to do ANYTHING. Add to that, dance classes (which aren't necessary, but the girls LOVE it), other family obligations, such as birthday parties and Bryan on a sometimes crazy work schedule, I need a little downtime. So when it comes to friends or family wanting to make plans or get together, please forgive me when I often say no or cancel plans. At this stage in my life, I am completely worn out and struggling to keep it all in balance. And although I love my husband dearly and I appreciate him so much for giving me the life we have and enabling me to stay home with the kids, I wish he could be here more often. Since we've been home from vacation, he's only had a few days off. And he works 12 hour shifts, which is usually more like 13-14 hours. Some days, some nights. Nights result in him sleeping during the day and days result in him going to bed super early.So I end up doing so much of this, if not all of it, by myself. The house suffers. It's NEVER "clean" anymore and by most peoples standards, it's downright messy most of the time. I don't think I've been caught up on laundry since we've been home & I already feel overwhelmed with the school year and it just started! Maybe homeschooling isn't the solution in some minds, but I really feel like it is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like it's what is best for the kids, even if that's just at this time. And maybe we haven't been learning in the "traditional" sense, but we've been learning a lot about life over the last few weeks. We've been learning about God, which is the most important. We've been learning about technology, with Katie's communication device. And Katie has even been learning how to use my laptop for some of the online apps for school. And we've been given some time to be a family that we didn't have before. So overall, this opportunity has definitely been a blessing. And sometimes, writing it down helps ME to see it as such! So bring on the challenges. Bring on the hard work & more than that, bring on the desire to learn & the desire to teach. I am ready for tomorrow ;) I'm sure I'll complain again & again & again before it's all said & done, but just remember that I'm always a work in progress. I love my husband & my kids more than anything and I will do my best to love & cherish them the way they deserve. And I will never stop pushing them and challenging them.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Trusting God
My week this week has been MUCH better than last week! I ended last week in a crying heap in my husbands lap because things just weren't going the way I wanted them to or expected them to. We hadn't been getting along for a while, I had been juggling all three kids and their crazy schedules completely on my own, Katie wasn't being very cooperative with her homeschooling, I've been waiting for Roman's homeschool program to call me, I didn't have anyone to lean on because Bryan has been going through his own ordeal & Paisley had been a complete and total BRAT! She was defiant, she was fighting for my attention & it didn't matter if it was good or bad. I was in a pretty foul mood by the end of each day because my patience was being tested to the very end of each & every day. On Friday, Bryan came home from work and I started to complain about my day & he told me he didn't want to hear it. I was in tears and tired and just done. Finally, he asked me if I needed a hug and when I sat down on his lap to get a hug, the tears of defeat came without me having any control. His reaction wasn't what me or anyone else would want, but we were finally able to laugh it off.
The bible tells us lots and lots of things about stress, about anger, frustration. God knew, when He sent Jesus to die for us, that we would face all of these problems in our lives. He also knew that the enemy would work overtime if he knows that we're getting closer to God. But let's be honest, when we're in the midst of a trial, or many at one time, it's REALLY hard (sometimes) to turn to God during those times. We, or at least I, always think that it's too minor or it's MY fault, why would God want to help me with it? And when I'm super busy on top of everything else, it's hard to find the time to open my bible and find what I need to find. But I'm learning that it's the only way I can do it!! Why has it taken me so long to figure this out? Because I was content being a "Sunday morning" Christian. I believed in God, I trusted God and I knew He was working in my life, but I was trying to take control of my life and striving for MY happiness. I was going to church on Sunday's, listening to the sermons, helping out with church projects whenever I could & striving to live my life for God, but I rarely read or studied my bible. I was always talking to God in my head, but I wasn't living for God out loud. Now, I realize that my trials are no different than what other's face. We all have issues. We all lose our faith at times & we all forget to trust God with our WHOLE life. We only want to let him in certain parts of our lives, but that doesn't work!! He knows EVERYTHING about us! He created us and He loves us. If you doubt this, I encourage you to read Psalm 139, written by David about not being able to hide from God. He knows the hairs on our heads, our thoughts, good AND bad & He is with us...whether we want Him there or not! Even in the midst of our trials. Small or large, He's there!
I get frustrated with Katie at times. I know she has Cerebral Palsy, but that doesn't mean she's not smart. Her body works differently than mine, her brain probably does too. But I find that when I'm not pushing her, she just wants to be lazy. She wants to be able to run around like her 3 year old sister and play all day long, instead of taking time for her school work. Homeschooling is tough. But I feel like other people don't have the same expectations for her that I have. And nobody knows that child the way I know her! She is stubborn as a mule and when she doesn't want to do something, she refuses to do it. If she were going to public school, she would probably not be quite as stubborn, but she might! And she would be able to get away with it because she has a way of wrapping people around her little finger without even trying. She also wouldn't have the heart for God that I'm able to help her realize at home. Besides her stubborn streak, once she opens up, there is no greater joy than watching her learn! It's sometimes just a matter of finding what works for her. Every child learns in different ways and I think by homeschooling her, she is able to reach her full potential. She is having the hardest time getting back into a routine though! Plus, she is so much more independent, that she has much more sass than she had before. I was feeling cheated the other day because I have this amazing little girl in my care that isn't physically able to do things for herself. She isn't able to keep her focus as long as other kids her age, she doesn't have the confidence to try new things very often. She won't answer a question unless she knows she has the right answer. How do you help her get past all of that? I have no idea. But I'm figuring it out and learning as I go. I try new & different things ALL the time and see what I can come up with. And sometimes, it feels like I'm losing more ground than what I'm gaining. But that's ok! Once we get through some of the basics, a whole new world will open up for her. And once she understands concepts, her confidence level increases. I saw some verses on disability the other day and the one I loved the most was 2 Corinthians 7-10. ...
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties,. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
After reading this, it helped bring everything back into perspective for me. God is going to do amazing things in Katie's life! Where she is weak, He is strong. God is going to continue to do amazing things in my life. Where I am weak, He is strong. In the lives of Roman & Paisley. Where they are weak, He is strong. In Bryan's life. Where he is weak, God is strong. We can rejoice in our weaknesses, in our trials, in all of the difficult moments in our lives. We can ALWAYS know that God is strong during those times. He's strong for US!! He made us & He doesn't make mistakes :) After reading this scripture and figuring out what it meant for Katie, physically, then I heard it again in church on Sunday & I put it into perspective for my own life as well. I continue to be amazed at how God puts things in our lives, such as a certain scripture that I ponder during the week, to hear it come up at church on Sunday. And then be able to use it to comfort someone else in an unrelated situation. It's just another reminder that He is with us, at our weakest moments and at our strongest. I am so thankful for the life I have been blessed with. I will continue to make mistakes, I will continue to doubt His presence at times, I will lose patience, I will lack in self-control & I will not show love in the ways that I should & I'm sure that I will be quick to anger. But, through the blood of Jesus Christ, I am forgiven! My sins are washed away & God's grace is new every day. I am striving to become the woman He intends for me to be & sometimes I just need perspective. Just like Katie. I forget things too. I want to put blinders on & be lazy, but that's not going to get me anywhere. My focus needs to be on God & God alone. Everything else will fall into place the way that it should. Just trust that God knows EXACTLY what He's doing :)
The bible tells us lots and lots of things about stress, about anger, frustration. God knew, when He sent Jesus to die for us, that we would face all of these problems in our lives. He also knew that the enemy would work overtime if he knows that we're getting closer to God. But let's be honest, when we're in the midst of a trial, or many at one time, it's REALLY hard (sometimes) to turn to God during those times. We, or at least I, always think that it's too minor or it's MY fault, why would God want to help me with it? And when I'm super busy on top of everything else, it's hard to find the time to open my bible and find what I need to find. But I'm learning that it's the only way I can do it!! Why has it taken me so long to figure this out? Because I was content being a "Sunday morning" Christian. I believed in God, I trusted God and I knew He was working in my life, but I was trying to take control of my life and striving for MY happiness. I was going to church on Sunday's, listening to the sermons, helping out with church projects whenever I could & striving to live my life for God, but I rarely read or studied my bible. I was always talking to God in my head, but I wasn't living for God out loud. Now, I realize that my trials are no different than what other's face. We all have issues. We all lose our faith at times & we all forget to trust God with our WHOLE life. We only want to let him in certain parts of our lives, but that doesn't work!! He knows EVERYTHING about us! He created us and He loves us. If you doubt this, I encourage you to read Psalm 139, written by David about not being able to hide from God. He knows the hairs on our heads, our thoughts, good AND bad & He is with us...whether we want Him there or not! Even in the midst of our trials. Small or large, He's there!
I get frustrated with Katie at times. I know she has Cerebral Palsy, but that doesn't mean she's not smart. Her body works differently than mine, her brain probably does too. But I find that when I'm not pushing her, she just wants to be lazy. She wants to be able to run around like her 3 year old sister and play all day long, instead of taking time for her school work. Homeschooling is tough. But I feel like other people don't have the same expectations for her that I have. And nobody knows that child the way I know her! She is stubborn as a mule and when she doesn't want to do something, she refuses to do it. If she were going to public school, she would probably not be quite as stubborn, but she might! And she would be able to get away with it because she has a way of wrapping people around her little finger without even trying. She also wouldn't have the heart for God that I'm able to help her realize at home. Besides her stubborn streak, once she opens up, there is no greater joy than watching her learn! It's sometimes just a matter of finding what works for her. Every child learns in different ways and I think by homeschooling her, she is able to reach her full potential. She is having the hardest time getting back into a routine though! Plus, she is so much more independent, that she has much more sass than she had before. I was feeling cheated the other day because I have this amazing little girl in my care that isn't physically able to do things for herself. She isn't able to keep her focus as long as other kids her age, she doesn't have the confidence to try new things very often. She won't answer a question unless she knows she has the right answer. How do you help her get past all of that? I have no idea. But I'm figuring it out and learning as I go. I try new & different things ALL the time and see what I can come up with. And sometimes, it feels like I'm losing more ground than what I'm gaining. But that's ok! Once we get through some of the basics, a whole new world will open up for her. And once she understands concepts, her confidence level increases. I saw some verses on disability the other day and the one I loved the most was 2 Corinthians 7-10. ...
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties,. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
After reading this, it helped bring everything back into perspective for me. God is going to do amazing things in Katie's life! Where she is weak, He is strong. God is going to continue to do amazing things in my life. Where I am weak, He is strong. In the lives of Roman & Paisley. Where they are weak, He is strong. In Bryan's life. Where he is weak, God is strong. We can rejoice in our weaknesses, in our trials, in all of the difficult moments in our lives. We can ALWAYS know that God is strong during those times. He's strong for US!! He made us & He doesn't make mistakes :) After reading this scripture and figuring out what it meant for Katie, physically, then I heard it again in church on Sunday & I put it into perspective for my own life as well. I continue to be amazed at how God puts things in our lives, such as a certain scripture that I ponder during the week, to hear it come up at church on Sunday. And then be able to use it to comfort someone else in an unrelated situation. It's just another reminder that He is with us, at our weakest moments and at our strongest. I am so thankful for the life I have been blessed with. I will continue to make mistakes, I will continue to doubt His presence at times, I will lose patience, I will lack in self-control & I will not show love in the ways that I should & I'm sure that I will be quick to anger. But, through the blood of Jesus Christ, I am forgiven! My sins are washed away & God's grace is new every day. I am striving to become the woman He intends for me to be & sometimes I just need perspective. Just like Katie. I forget things too. I want to put blinders on & be lazy, but that's not going to get me anywhere. My focus needs to be on God & God alone. Everything else will fall into place the way that it should. Just trust that God knows EXACTLY what He's doing :)
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