Hi there!! It has been a while & I have been a little out of touch. Someone asked me the other day if I still blog & when I thought about it, I realized it had been close to 2 years since I had written, so here I am. What is one word to describe what I've been up to the last year & a half-2 years? Chaos. Life has been sooo crazy & I have been trying so hard to keep up. As I was driving Paisley to dance today, I was doubting myself (as usual) & thinking that I am just so tired (you know! Pretty much every moms complaint, if they're being honest ;)). I pretty much feel exhausted ALL the time (dance classes 3 nights a week, 4-H once a month & a full time college student will do it to you!) & I was feeling sorry for myself, when a little voice came into my head and reminded me what life was like before I had children & how badly I wanted these guys. I was humbled by that little voice & reminded to appreciate my time with my kids. It seems like so long ago at times, but other times it seems like just yesterday. That battle with infertility was a rough one, but look at us now! Four incredible kids that I couldn't imagine our life without! It's amazing to me that we will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in 7 months!
As crazy as life has been, all I've been doing lately is raising kids. That's it. Nothing special, nothing fancy, rarely getting out of the house anymore for fun & just up to my elbows in child rearing. Bryan often works long hours & that leaves me to do pretty much everything else. When he's home, he doesn't move too far from the couch & he goes to bed super early, sometimes before the kids, because of his early mornings. As tired as I feel most of the time, I can relate, but since my only quiet time is after the kids go to bed, I stay up late to enjoy my own tv shows & not listen to the kids for a little while ;) I'm not going to lie though...I often resent him for it. When we argue over his lack of motivation, he's really good at spinning it around to make me the bad guy. I'm a nag, I complain all the time, I'm this, I'm that...it's really too exhausting to list it all. It resulted in me seeing a counselor last year at this time to try to figure out how to manage life. It was super helpful to have someone to talk to, but when it came time for the both of us to see her, my husband refused. Which resulted in more fights. When he finally agreed, I was ecstatic & looking forward to the help it would bring to our relationship. But after several failed attempts & a mountain of excuses as to why he couldn't go, the idea of marriage counseling (to his satisfaction) was scrapped & I haven't been back, either. Maybe someday we'll head down that road again, but it's on hold for now. We do attempt date nights every so often though...not as often as I would like, but as often as our schedules allow. Please keep us in your prayers in this area of life.
Back to the kids! As Roman has gotten older, I enjoy the new things he's doing in life & I appreciate his sense of responsibility, his enthusiasm for life & his motivation to do well. He graduated in May, he's attending college, working at the college & just got his license last week. It's such an exciting time for him & it's exciting to be his mamma as he navigates more adult responsibilities.
Katie had ANOTHER surgery the end of August and has been doing amazing since then. No more pain in those hips & she's finally getting back to her old self. It's going to take some time since she kind of had 3 years off, but she's working on some things that are exciting to her & I. She asked me not to share until she gets really good at it, so I will respect that & will be sharing more on that very soon, I promise :)
Paisley is thriving in kindergarten. She's growing up, physically & mentally. She still cracks me up on a daily basis, with her most recent being yesterday. Her leg was sore for some reason, probably growing pains, but she told me she thought she had a rib broken in her leg 😂😂 I told her that if that were true, the broken rib is probably the least of our worries. She never fails to entertain, that's for sure!
Levi is growing, growing, growing! His birthday is Friday and he'll be FOUR years old! I can't believe it's been that long! The last 2 years with him have flown by. He talks ALL the time, he's a wild & crazy boy who will find a dirt pile anywhere he goes & no matter what he's wearing. He is learning his ABC's, he knows how to write his name & he can count to 10. He loves to cuddle with mommy still and occasionally asks if I will rock him to sleep. He still takes pride in being mommys baby boy & I love every single second of him telling me that I'm his favorite. His most recent funny is when he gets in trouble, he bats his eyelashes at me and says, "but I'm so cute" Little stinker!
Overall, life has been good. Scary at times, but good. The war on law enforcement in this country has gotten way out of hand & causes me to worry, but I'm praying that begins to slow down. It is a scary world to send my man into every day.
As always, God has blessed us more than we deserve & he continues to do so every day. I'm thankful for his mercy & grace, because I sure don't deserve it! Be blessed you all & remember that no matter what, God is in control! ❤️❤️❤️
